The Longest Goodbye (or, how help-desks make money…)

Customer (appreciative): “Thank you so much for your assistance, you’ve been very helpful!”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Not a problem Sir, I am glad you found my assistance helpful. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer (still appreciative though checking his wrist watch): “No, no; it’s all’s good. Thanks again.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Well Sir, if you will have a need for more assistance, please do not hesitate to call – “
Customer (a little impatient): “That’s okay, thanks. I know where to reach you.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “I understand Sir but I am required to let you know that if you would need more assistance we can be reach any time of the day at 888-888-8888.”
Customer (taking a deep breath): “Understood, thanks.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “We really appreciate your business. You may be asked to fill out a survey at the end of this call.”
Customer (short): “Whatever…”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “I wish you a very pleasant day and thanks again.”
Customer (breathing a sigh of relief – is it really over?): “Sure, you too. Take care.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Take care of what Sir? Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer (biting his tongue): “No, no, it’s just a manner of speech.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Oh, I see. Well, if there is anything else I can help you with, please do not hesitate to – “
Customer (sharp voice, slightly raised): “I know, I know. I will call you!”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Call us about what Sir? Is there anything else we can help you with today?
Customer (shouting): “No! No! Just let me say goodbye and get back to my work.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, slightly offended voice): “Sorry Sir, I didn’t mean to upset you. I am only trying to help.”
Customer (feeling embarrassed): “Sorry, sorry. All good. Can we just say goodbye?”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Absolutely Sir. I am glad you found my assistance helpful. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
— — — — — — — half an hour later — — — — — — —
Customer (drowsy): “Yes, yes, you have been very helpful. Thank you. I will fill out a survey, I will come wash your car, anything…”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “No need sir, I am the one here to serve you.”

phone-off-the-hook11

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