The Longest Goodbye (or, how help-desks make money…)

Customer (appreciative): “Thank you so much for your assistance, you’ve been very helpful!”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Not a problem Sir, I am glad you found my assistance helpful. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer (still appreciative though checking his wrist watch): “No, no; it’s all’s good. Thanks again.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Well Sir, if you will have a need for more assistance, please do not hesitate to call – “
Customer (a little impatient): “That’s okay, thanks. I know where to reach you.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “I understand Sir but I am required to let you know that if you would need more assistance we can be reach any time of the day at 888-888-8888.”
Customer (taking a deep breath): “Understood, thanks.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “We really appreciate your business. You may be asked to fill out a survey at the end of this call.”
Customer (short): “Whatever…”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “I wish you a very pleasant day and thanks again.”
Customer (breathing a sigh of relief – is it really over?): “Sure, you too. Take care.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Take care of what Sir? Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer (biting his tongue): “No, no, it’s just a manner of speech.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Oh, I see. Well, if there is anything else I can help you with, please do not hesitate to – “
Customer (sharp voice, slightly raised): “I know, I know. I will call you!”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Call us about what Sir? Is there anything else we can help you with today?
Customer (shouting): “No! No! Just let me say goodbye and get back to my work.”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, slightly offended voice): “Sorry Sir, I didn’t mean to upset you. I am only trying to help.”
Customer (feeling embarrassed): “Sorry, sorry. All good. Can we just say goodbye?”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “Absolutely Sir. I am glad you found my assistance helpful. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
— — — — — — — half an hour later — — — — — — —
Customer (drowsy): “Yes, yes, you have been very helpful. Thank you. I will fill out a survey, I will come wash your car, anything…”
Help-desk Rep (in a slow, measured voice): “No need sir, I am the one here to serve you.”

phone-off-the-hook11

Advertisements

The Tao of Introducing Change (or a lesson in marketing)

Tao-of-ChangeTo accept change
timing must be right

For timing to be right
a lesson needs to be learned

For a lesson to be truly obtained
there is no other way but experience

For experience to be gained
time has to pass

Therefore,
Change is inevitable
Yet change attempted before its time is futile

That is why
a mediocre idea with great marketing
is superior
to a great idea
with mediocre marketing

Inspirational Anecdotes: Branding 102

Best example of branding I ever heard…

You go to a party and you see a sexy girl across the room. You go up to her and say “Hi, I’m great in bed, how about it?”.
That’s direct marketing.
You go to a party and you see a sexy girl across the room. You give your friend a 10$ bill. He goes up and says “Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?”.
That’s advertising.
You go to a party, you see a sexy girl across the room. She comes over and says, “Hi, I hear you’re great in bed, how about it?”
Now, that’s The Power Of BRANDING!

Inspirational Anecdotes: Branding 101

I recently shared this with a friend and it occurred to me to share it here as well.
Many years ago I attended a business breakfast in NYC.
Of the several presenters there was one that spoke about branding and marketing.
A portion of his presentation stayed with me and I use it when I working with willing clients (those who are truly willing to look outside the box…)

The presenter asked us, the audience, if we knew who was the first person to fly solo nonstop across the Atlantic?
Everyone called aloud “Charles Lindbergh!”
“Very good,” he said. “Now, who was the second person?”
The audience went quiet. No one knew. “Ok,” he said, “now, who was the person woman to make that same journey?” “Amelia Earhart,” went the audience without hesitation.
“So what is the conclusion?” asked the presenter, and immediately continued:
“If you cannot be the FIRST in a CATEGORY, create a new category and be first in that category or else NO ONE WILL REMEMBER YOU!”